John Ortberg, whose name is splashed across Christian bookstores as perhaps the new Max Lucado, writes a refreshingly honest article in Christianity Today about motives in leadership and ministry. What, or rather as Ortberg writes, who motivates us? The who is us—but which us? Ortberg writes that there is a “public me” who writes sermons, attends meetings, and is constantly aware of how he is perceived; a “private me” who listens and feels; and a “real me,” the combination of sinful desires, hopes, and the mixture of good and bad. It is here that our motivations dwell. He writes that others often see the “real him” before he does.
I was challenged because of a question posed at the beginning—am I a leader, calling people to deeper discipleship, or simply desiring success? As I consider re-vamping the program elements of my ministry, I struggle with the same question. How well am I keeping the balance of drawing new kids and faithfully discipling my current ones? I’m just as confused with the “real me” as Ortberg is.
Ortberg concludes the article with a poem written by Bonhoeffer when he was in prison, struggling with how others perceive him versus how he truly feels. The tension is held in a positive light when Bonhoeffer concludes the poem (perhaps with a sigh), “Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine.” Even on days I wonder about my motives and decisions as a leader, perhaps there is some peace knowing that I am thine.
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated your comments here. I relate to what this author has written also. I think as we begin our ministries we can get so caught up in numbers that we sometimes forget what we are truly here to do. In so doing this we then forget who we are as a person. Are we being true to ourselves or are we just playing the game? Unfortunately this doesn’t always settle down even after we are in ministry for years. I think this may be why so many people in ministry don’t survive for long. They lose sight of who they truly are and many times lose sight of God.
As I thought about this I realized that the most important thing that we have to remember as we serve God is to concentrate on leading others to be disciples and to be true to themselves and God. We must lead as God guides us to lead through the help of the Holy Spirit. Hopefully by doing this we can avoid losing our self image. This should be easy if we are striving to become like the image of Christ and being true to God ourselves.