The Line Between Leading and Dominating

In The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham, authors Harold Myra and Marshall Shelley write,

Here's a statement that merits considerable thought by anyone in a leadership capacity. Psychiatrist David Cooper says, "Perhaps the most central characteristic of authentic leadership is the relinquishing of the impulse to dominate others...

Billy Graham never dominated, but in thousands of connections he inspired and led. At the same time, he understood the need for an adequate level of control. Obviously, a certain degree of control is necessary for a leader to function.

Leighton Ford, in thinking back over the many years he worked with Billy, remembers him as always empowering and encouraging, without pulling rank. But he does remember one time when he did.

He, John Corts, Sterling Huston, and John Dettoni had a bright idea. They thought they could learn by surveying members of the team. They developed questions and put together forms for them to fill out.

Billy, when he saw the forms and how they were to be used, said, "This has to be thrown out!"

Leighton tried to explain why they were doing it, and why they thought it would be helpful. He now recalls it as one of those very rare times when Billy pulled rank in a strong, confrontational way. "I'm running this organization," he said. "I've seen people whose organizations were taken away from them."

Billy understood the dangers of leadership giving up its authority. Leighton learned taht any incipient sense of usurping Billy's authority was stepping over a line.

"That was the only time he spoke out that strongly," he said.

Myra, Harold and Marshall Shelley. 2005.

The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham.

Grand Rapids: Zondervan. 132-133.

I have been called a control-freak. Some have said I'm bossy. I've probably been called other names, but those are the ones I can think of right now. In response to that I've tried to not be controlling or bossy because those are obviously bad. My faulty understanding was that all control was bad. So I attempted to be the least controlling person I could be. I majored in being easy-going and going with the flow. If things didn't go the way I thought they should I just swallowed it down, wanting to not rightfully be called a control-freak again. After swinging from one side of the control pendulum to the other, though, I personally think that having no control is equally as hazardous as seeking to have all the control.

So I affirm the conclusion of this story, that a leader must have control over his organization. Even well-meaning members will unintentionally derail an organization from the intended purpose and design. Some might think that Billy's decision squashed the thoughts of his staff; but I don't think that was the case. There was still a system of feedback and communication to allow the proliferation of ideas. The quote from Dr. Cooper helps spell out the degree to which unhealthy control is restrained and transformed to be healthy control: in relinquishing the impulse to dominate others.

What degree of control do you think is healthy (or unhealthy) in a leader?

PS: The word count for the quote is 281; the word count for my response is 240.