Preemptive Peace
To survive conflict, churches and pastors must prepare before one arises
by Ken Sande
Ken Sande deals in a helpful way with perhaps one of the most unpleasant realities of ministry: a.k.a. conflict. In the article Sande describes principles for resolving conflict that work in contexts ranging from tribal wars to leadership disagreements in the church. He recognizes that leaders respond differently to conflict, some attempting to control, and others attempting to please people. He calls for leaders to recognize their weakness and respond accordingly.
“If you are a leader that is inclined to be a controller, you need to pray all the time: God, give me the humility, the kindness, the servant's heart of Christ.
If you are inclined to be a people pleaser: Lord, give me strength. Give me backbone today. Give me courage to confront things, not to run away from them.”
Most importantly he describes what it can look like to be preemptive in dealing with conflict. He urges church leaders to have conversations, accountability, and a structure in place for resolving difficult conflicts. While times are good, we should sit down with the leadership team, and say, “Sooner or later we will encounter significant conflict. How can we agree to handle conflict? What systems could we put in place to come to healthy resolutions?”
It is a critical task of leadership to have your people prepared to handle conflict when it arrives. If we take the steps outlined in this article, we will be able to minimize the damages of conflict, and maximize the chance of a positive outcome.
Dibs!
ReplyDeleteDealing with conflict before it happens? This is completely counter-intuitive, given the average pastor’s tendency to avoid conflict at all cost. I would imagine that the farthest most pastors do is to try to create a positive, trusting environment among their staff and within (most of) the congregation. Even this is a large undertaking. Yet, this author urges us to put plans into place now, such as creating group covenants for behavior. I would argue that such pre-emptive measures as group covenants can be effective within a staff or committee. However, I question the effectiveness of a group covenant/expectation of behaviors in a church larger than thirty-five.
ReplyDeleteThe author also discusses wrong ways for the pastor to deal with conflict in his or her congregation. He writes that pastors should not address the conflict from the pulpit. I completely agree. I’ve heard pastors attempt to explain why they should and how they can do it “well,” and quite frankly, it’s never done well. We fail to be humble and we speak from our wounds, often wounding others. We can speak in generalities and principles of Christ-like character, such as forgiveness, peace, and love.