Friday, May 20, 2011
How Do You Take Criticism?
How do you respond when you are criticized, especially when it feels unfounded? Tim Keller argues that the biggest concern when criticism should come is not about your reputation but your heart. It is very easy for us to begin to feel like a victim and vindicate our feelings of judgment towards the individual and the group that he or she represents. In your heart, pride can easily become rooted deeply in order to protect yourself. Keller quotes John Newton as saying that whenever we begin to feel superior in our thoughts and beliefs, “the doctrines of grace [are] mere notions and speculations” in our lives.
Thus, our experience with God’s grace is having no actual impact upon our thoughts and behaviors. Keller offers two words of advice on how to avoid these attitudes. First, if the criticism comes from someone who knows us, there is mostly likely a kernel of truth, even if it is just the attitude with which we did something. He or she may be wrong in their criticism but it may speak to an attitude or mode that we operated in. Secondly, if the criticism is from someone that we do not know and does not know us, it is oftentimes unfounded. We must be careful to not become smug but remember that we have gotten things completely wrong before and judged people unfairly as well.
So the challenge is to not despise those who criticize us but have the attitude of humility that Christ had (Philippians 2).
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Criticism is a controversial word in itself. Dealing with it can be a challenge if, as a leader, you are not grounded in who you are in Christ. Receiving criticism with an open heart and mind are great attributes but also allowing the Holy Spirit to discern the truth in the word of criticism that we receive as opposed to succumbing to the flesh and responding negatively. Also the mention of God’s grace and being humble seem to be a recurrent theme as it relates to leadership. Within the context of receiving criticism it is critical that we recognize pride setting in and deterring us from hearing constructive criticism that will facilitate growth and change in us. I do not agree that criticism from someone I do not know as unfounded. In the call to leadership there may be many people we encounter that we are not familiar with and they may see something from afar that needs addressing but we do not listen because we take the position, “they don’t know me so how can they tell me anything” seems to be as much as a disservice to yourself as it is to believe that because you know me, there is some merit to what you are saying.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Keller in his statement that criticism usually comes with a kernel of truth. However, I also believe that most criticism in the church is over non-essential issues that do not require our heated defense. For example, if someone criticizes what I wear to church on Sunday I would take their criticism seriously, but would ultimately see their criticism as inappropriate because for me, it is not an important issue. Because of this, I believe that how we take criticism depends on how invested we are in the issue at hand. If a leader is criticized over something they don’t care much about, then they are more likely to handle criticism well. However, if a leader is criticized over something that they put a lot of energy and thought into, such as a sermon, then it would be more difficult for them to work through the criticism.
ReplyDeleteIn my own life I have often been arrogant in dealing with criticism. The response that “it is not an important issue to me” ignores the other person’s values and trivializes their complaint. We must have a clear perception of the other person’s values, and not just our own, if we are to respond to criticism in the proper way.