Sunday, June 5, 2011
We Are Family
As Christian leaders, we often find ourselves so driven and committed to helping and serving others, that we lose sight of those to whom we are the most responsible. Brian Haynes’ wife approached him years back and told him that while he was shepherding everyone else, he was losing his family. His commitment to the church had usurped his commitment to his family.
Haynes makes the interesting statement that the command in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 was not overridden or made null and void because of Matthew 28:18-20. Deuteronomy 6 is the command to instruct your children and Matthew 28 is the Great Commission. Our call to our family has not been negated due to our call to preach to the world.
If was at this point that a massive shift took place within his church. They decided that they would seek to find a path of convergence for family and ministry. There had to be a common path that those who were involved with the church were being equipped as well as given the time to help nourish, shape, and instruct their families. This is part of their understanding of life and ministry. It is the two-sided coin that cannot be divided.
They have decided to allow the family to be primary disciple-makers and the church comes alongside of them. This is the way that it should be. The church is to come alongside of those in need, but it was never meant to be a replacement for the family.
Are they right in the family the center of disciple making?
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I very much appreciated this article because a healthy family life is one of my core values. It is sad that the church can become one of the causes for an unhealthy pastor's family. In a Brethren History class that I finished today, we learned recently about the uproar that having Sunday School in church caused in our denomination (actually one of the factors that split the denomination). This may seem pretty funny to think of at this point, but the fear was that the church would take away the role of teaching children the ways of God from the parents, whose role it was rightfully. I think that in many churches around the country, this fear has become a reality. People see it as the church's role to train their children to be Christians. Pastors fall into the trap of ministering to every family but their own. For me, a healthy family life is a non-negotiable. I know that ministry is very important, but it cannot become more important than my role as husband and father. I believe that God gives us our family as the first people that we need to be in relationship with, everyone else comes in second.
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